#16 What's the Rush? Don't Go Fast, Go Slow - Art of Life Podcast

Speaker: 00:00:00

Welcome to the Art of Life podcast.

Speaker: 00:00:03

I'm Kanika.

Speaker: 00:00:04

I'm your host, and I welcome you to a podcast that is

Speaker: 00:00:08

around improving your life.

Speaker: 00:00:11

Every week we talk about certain topics and discuss some mindset changes,

Speaker: 00:00:17

discuss some questions, discuss some ways in which we can get better and we

Speaker: 00:00:23

can really improve and heal our lives.

Speaker: 00:00:26

So you are in for a treat.

Speaker: 00:00:28

Today's topic we have is what's the rush?

Speaker: 00:00:32

Don't go fast.

Speaker: 00:00:33

Go slow

Speaker: 00:00:37

Well, this topic really came about because I was feeling a whole lot rushed

Speaker: 00:00:43

and I thought, well, wait a minute.

Speaker: 00:00:44

I gotta slow down.

Speaker: 00:00:48

Now, our day-to-day lives can feel really rushed.

Speaker: 00:00:54

We have our jobs, whatever we are doing.

Speaker: 00:00:57

And then there's a whole other heap of activities to do as well.

Speaker: 00:01:00

Sometimes I have friends and families wanting our attention.

Speaker: 00:01:03

Sometimes there's other stuff that's wanting our attention.

Speaker: 00:01:06

Like maybe something broke down.

Speaker: 00:01:08

We've got to fix a car.

Speaker: 00:01:09

We've got to fix the roof.

Speaker: 00:01:12

There's a whole lot of demand on time and time always seems to be slipping away.

Speaker: 00:01:20

So I thought we could do this topic today, which is around time,

Speaker: 00:01:25

getting our balance back with time.

Speaker: 00:01:26

It's around work life balance.

Speaker: 00:01:29

To me, it's also a whole lot around fulfilling me and becoming more of

Speaker: 00:01:35

me, giving me the space to be me and not running life on autopilot.

Speaker: 00:01:40

So hopefully you'll find this useful.

Speaker: 00:01:44

So first up, I have an exercise for you.

Speaker: 00:01:49

When you can, sit down and look at your day activities.

Speaker: 00:01:53

Like write down what are the main activities that you do during

Speaker: 00:01:56

the day, during a week, perhaps.

Speaker: 00:01:59

So write down things that you have to do to live.

Speaker: 00:02:03

That would be, for example, your job.

Speaker: 00:02:05

Meeting your clients or the chores that you have to do, those sorts of things,

Speaker: 00:02:10

like things that you literally have to do to live and give that a color, right?

Speaker: 00:02:14

So we will color code everything in the end, but for now, write down

Speaker: 00:02:19

the activities that you do to live.

Speaker: 00:02:22

Now, the second bucket, write down activities that you do for others.

Speaker: 00:02:27

So maybe you do activities such as going to a party or a drink or meeting someone.

Speaker: 00:02:37

Helping out some other friend, errands that you run for someone else, you can

Speaker: 00:02:42

probably put those into another bucket and call those the activities for others.

Speaker: 00:02:47

Give that another color.

Speaker: 00:02:49

Let's say you give the first one blue.

Speaker: 00:02:51

I'm making a guess here.

Speaker: 00:02:53

And let's say activities for others is a green color.

Speaker: 00:02:57

The last bit I want you to do is write down activities for yourself.

Speaker: 00:03:02

Activities for yourself that you do.

Speaker: 00:03:04

Now these activities are activities that nourish you.

Speaker: 00:03:09

So these are activities that you really enjoy.

Speaker: 00:03:11

So maybe that is spending time with your kids.

Speaker: 00:03:14

Maybe that's spending time with your partner.

Speaker: 00:03:17

Maybe that is meditating.

Speaker: 00:03:18

Maybe that is Gardening or painting or pole dancing,

Speaker: 00:03:24

whatever, you, it's that stuff.

Speaker: 00:03:28

Write down those activities and color this one as well.

Speaker: 00:03:33

Again, pick up a color that you like.

Speaker: 00:03:35

Let's assume for this one that you have picked up the color yellow.

Speaker: 00:03:40

Now look at this visual calendar in front of you.

Speaker: 00:03:44

Look at the greens, the blues and the yellows.

Speaker: 00:03:47

And see from a distance, which one is making more space, which one

Speaker: 00:03:53

is filling up most of your time.

Speaker: 00:03:58

Now you see the activities for yourself, they're the ones that are nourishing you.

Speaker: 00:04:04

They're the ones that are nourishing your soul, the activities that you do to

Speaker: 00:04:08

live, they're literally a surviving one.

Speaker: 00:04:11

So you probably need those very much.

Speaker: 00:04:15

They are giving you what you need to survive, but they're not nourishing you.

Speaker: 00:04:20

So you might find some ways here.

Speaker: 00:04:22

You might think of certain things where you can probably reduce your time.

Speaker: 00:04:29

So for example, if you're spending some time doing chores such as

Speaker: 00:04:32

cleaning and you don't really enjoy it, you could think around outsourcing

Speaker: 00:04:37

that at least once in a while.

Speaker: 00:04:39

And that's an example.

Speaker: 00:04:40

Then there are activities that you do for others.

Speaker: 00:04:43

Maybe you were spending time with a family member, but when you come out from

Speaker: 00:04:47

the event, you are really feeling too drained, or you feel like somebody's been

Speaker: 00:04:54

questioning you, invalidating you, so you don't feel the best about yourself.

Speaker: 00:04:59

And maybe those are the activities and you go, well, how can I

Speaker: 00:05:03

spend less and less time on that?

Speaker: 00:05:06

So this is a colorful way to look at your life every day or a week at a

Speaker: 00:05:12

time and see how can you start shifting time for yourself and make more

Speaker: 00:05:17

time for things that align with you, activities that fill you up inside.

Speaker: 00:05:23

Because the beauty of all of this is that the activities that

Speaker: 00:05:27

fill you up inside, they actually give you a whole lot of energy.

Speaker: 00:05:31

When you spend time with these ones, you have a whole lot more energy to give.

Speaker: 00:05:37

There are other energies, which really sap you, they drain you of your energy.

Speaker: 00:05:42

And then even if you have the other time planned for something that

Speaker: 00:05:47

you really enjoy, maybe baking or watching a movie, you probably feel

Speaker: 00:05:51

too drained and it doesn't fill you as much as it would otherwise.

Speaker: 00:05:56

So see if you can limit those in some sense and you can give

Speaker: 00:06:00

more and more time to activities that really boost your energy,

Speaker: 00:06:05

activities that really nourish you.

Speaker: 00:06:08

Time and energy go really hand in hand.

Speaker: 00:06:12

And this is another concept that I want you to have a think about as well.

Speaker: 00:06:18

We can often think of time as finite, and then energy can be really finite as well,

Speaker: 00:06:25

but energy is a little bit different.

Speaker: 00:06:28

You might have a different body clock.

Speaker: 00:06:30

You might be the most energetic in the morning, or you might be the most

Speaker: 00:06:35

energetic during the evening, maybe that's your most productive time.

Speaker: 00:06:40

But see if you can do activities, you can shift them around to

Speaker: 00:06:43

suit how your energy levels are.

Speaker: 00:06:48

Personally, for myself, I noticed that there are days where I am really good

Speaker: 00:06:53

with meeting a whole lot of people.

Speaker: 00:06:55

And then there are other days where I want to tuck myself away and get

Speaker: 00:06:58

a whole lot of productive work done.

Speaker: 00:07:00

Because I know that if I schedule something during the day in the

Speaker: 00:07:04

middle of the day, it takes a whole lot of that productive

Speaker: 00:07:07

focus I would have had otherwise.

Speaker: 00:07:10

So I'd rather do the social events and the social gatherings,

Speaker: 00:07:15

chunk them all together.

Speaker: 00:07:16

And I'd rather chunk all my productive stuff that I want

Speaker: 00:07:19

to do all together as well.

Speaker: 00:07:21

And even with the productive work that I do I will fill it

Speaker: 00:07:25

in with bits that nourish me.

Speaker: 00:07:28

So I might do something that takes a whole lot of energy and focus

Speaker: 00:07:32

and then I might do certain things which are really enjoyable for me.

Speaker: 00:07:36

So it boosts my own energy levels up as well.

Speaker: 00:07:40

The other thing I'd like to talk about here is also sometimes, and I'm guilty

Speaker: 00:07:47

of that as well, we can procrastinate.

Speaker: 00:07:51

So there are things that we really need to do.

Speaker: 00:07:54

So maybe you need to file your taxes, maybe you need to do some

Speaker: 00:08:00

calls and you're really putting them away, but it's stressing you out.

Speaker: 00:08:04

All those stress sort of things, pick the time that works best for you and do them.

Speaker: 00:08:13

I often feel that when I've got stuff that I'm not doing, it sort of weighs me down.

Speaker: 00:08:19

I might try and do other things, but the stuff that I don't like doing it, it still

Speaker: 00:08:25

lingers in the background like I feel there is this weight on my shoulders.

Speaker: 00:08:30

So you could always go ahead and finish the task as it is.

Speaker: 00:08:35

I often will start my morning with something that is probably

Speaker: 00:08:39

going to be a little bit draining and get it out of the way.

Speaker: 00:08:42

That's what works for me.

Speaker: 00:08:44

Maybe it's getting it right away on the day in the beginning itself.

Speaker: 00:08:48

For you, it might be something else for you.

Speaker: 00:08:50

It might be okay doing it, during midday, whatever that time is, wherever

Speaker: 00:08:55

you feel that you can fit it, but definitely work it around your style.

Speaker: 00:08:59

The activities that you procrastinate, you've got to have a handle on them.

Speaker: 00:09:04

Now, as you look at time, what you want to keep in mind is,

Speaker: 00:09:08

are you prioritizing your time?

Speaker: 00:09:11

Are you prioritizing your energy for the right things?

Speaker: 00:09:15

So you might feel that, Hey, for me, my kids, my partner, they're

Speaker: 00:09:20

the most important or my loved one is the most important and

Speaker: 00:09:23

they're the most cherished ones.

Speaker: 00:09:25

What you want to do is really preserve that time in the sense that

Speaker: 00:09:29

when you are with them, you don't want to be present and not present.

Speaker: 00:09:34

So when your child's saying something, you do actually want to be present.

Speaker: 00:09:38

So that's the time if you feel that's worthwhile, keep your phone away,

Speaker: 00:09:44

or at least don't check it as much.

Speaker: 00:09:47

But take the time to be there and if the habit is really new

Speaker: 00:09:51

for you, that's okay as well, but start one small step at a time.

Speaker: 00:09:55

Activities that you feel nourish you, activities that you feel

Speaker: 00:10:00

are really important for you, do give them your full time.

Speaker: 00:10:07

We know we have the saying like, why are you not doing something

Speaker: 00:10:11

like, go ahead and do something.

Speaker: 00:10:15

The more I have meditated, I've personally found that for me,

Speaker: 00:10:21

what works is the exact opposite.

Speaker: 00:10:24

It is about not going fast, it's about going slow.

Speaker: 00:10:28

It's the exact moment when I feel like, Oh my God, everything's like overwhelming or

Speaker: 00:10:34

so on, that's the time I feel it's best to , stop, take a moment, take a breath, relax,

Speaker: 00:10:40

breathe, and then go on with the day.

Speaker: 00:10:43

So I'll give you certain examples as well.

Speaker: 00:10:47

There was a time when I had a timeline for an Excel sheet that I had to do.

Speaker: 00:10:51

It was a project plan with a couple of dependencies on a new online version

Speaker: 00:10:56

that I was super struggling with.

Speaker: 00:10:59

I would enter one date, it would change something else.

Speaker: 00:11:01

And I wouldn't understand why my plan was now not finishing

Speaker: 00:11:06

at the right dates and so on.

Speaker: 00:11:08

So it was stressful.

Speaker: 00:11:10

I spent, probably two, three hours the first day and I went

Speaker: 00:11:13

like, well, I will get it finished and I will get it finished.

Speaker: 00:11:16

It did not work.

Speaker: 00:11:18

The next day I looked at it again, and this is the day when it had

Speaker: 00:11:21

to be submitted by 12 o'clock.

Speaker: 00:11:23

And I'm like, look, you know what?

Speaker: 00:11:25

I made a mistake yesterday.

Speaker: 00:11:27

What I'm going to do today is let me sit down, let me meditate.

Speaker: 00:11:31

So I sat down, I meditated, calmed myself and I got back to the sheet,

Speaker: 00:11:38

did it like probably in 15 minutes.

Speaker: 00:11:41

It happened super, super quickly.

Speaker: 00:11:44

Now, your style might not be meditating, your style might be something else,

Speaker: 00:11:49

but when you're feeling overwhelmed is the exact moment when you can

Speaker: 00:11:55

probably consider sitting down, having a cup of tea, putting your feet on

Speaker: 00:11:59

the ground, whatever works for you.

Speaker: 00:12:02

Maybe having a very deep conscious breaths or a few more, but whatever

Speaker: 00:12:07

tricks work for you to get yourself in present time doing that.

Speaker: 00:12:12

When you're feeling overwhelmed, that's the exact time to do it.

Speaker: 00:12:15

And of course we all make mistakes.

Speaker: 00:12:16

Like I mentioned, I do too, but you can always get better.

Speaker: 00:12:21

You can always do it a better way next time.

Speaker: 00:12:24

So when you feel like you're really losing it in the traffic jam and you feel

Speaker: 00:12:28

like, Oh my God, it's not going my way.

Speaker: 00:12:30

I've got to do this.

Speaker: 00:12:32

Take a moment, settle, listen to your breath.

Speaker: 00:12:37

Just align, connect with the earth, connect with the cosmic energy,

Speaker: 00:12:42

connect with your higher self and tune in, tune in to yourself.

Speaker: 00:12:49

Day to day what you want to think about is how much are you nurturing yourself?

Speaker: 00:12:55

That's the real game, isn't it?

Speaker: 00:12:57

Like if you looked at yourself as a spirit, you're capable of everything.

Speaker: 00:13:02

The whole reason why you came on earth is so that you can have all of that on

Speaker: 00:13:10

earth, so that you can manifest all your capabilities, all your dreams on earth.

Speaker: 00:13:15

You already have all of that as a spirit.

Speaker: 00:13:18

So the real game then is to come back to yourself right when you feel like

Speaker: 00:13:23

it's not working for me, right that very minute, or maybe two minutes after that,

Speaker: 00:13:29

or 10 minutes after that, whenever you can get in that space, sit down, take a

Speaker: 00:13:35

little breath and check in with yourself.

Speaker: 00:13:38

It's all okay.

Speaker: 00:13:41

So go slow, go slow.

Speaker: 00:13:43

I'll give you another example around going slow because we are so wired

Speaker: 00:13:47

around how everything has to be fast and how we have to keep doing.

Speaker: 00:13:51

My mantra actually is, when things are not working, it's not about do something.

Speaker: 00:13:59

If things aren't working, why don't you do nothing?

Speaker: 00:14:01

We really underestimate the importance of doing nothing.

Speaker: 00:14:07

There's a whole lot of stuff.

Speaker: 00:14:10

There's a whole lot of connection.

Speaker: 00:14:11

There's a whole lot of the upper intelligence, the higher intelligence that

Speaker: 00:14:17

comes, that flows when you do nothing.

Speaker: 00:14:20

When you slow down, when you take a breath in that moment,

Speaker: 00:14:24

there's a whole lot that happens.

Speaker: 00:14:27

Think of a baby.

Speaker: 00:14:29

So nine months.

Speaker: 00:14:30

almost it takes for the baby to conceive.

Speaker: 00:14:32

And yet the baby is not doing much.

Speaker: 00:14:34

The baby is in the womb.

Speaker: 00:14:35

It's rolling around.

Speaker: 00:14:38

It's having its food and most of the time it's sleeping.

Speaker: 00:14:43

So that's what I want you to look at as well.

Speaker: 00:14:45

It's not done much, but when it's come out, the baby is fully formed.

Speaker: 00:14:50

It's got hands, legs, even eyelashes, a heart.

Speaker: 00:14:53

Everything in that body is formed, tiny little hands, tiny little feet,

Speaker: 00:14:57

tiny little lungs, all the bits of the baby are formed while it's sleeping.

Speaker: 00:15:05

And yet, we, all knowing human beings, we tend to think that if we

Speaker: 00:15:13

slow down, we are losing something.

Speaker: 00:15:19

I'm asking you to question that for a minute.

Speaker: 00:15:23

Are you really losing things when you slow down?

Speaker: 00:15:26

Think of the times when you've had flashbacks because you've slowed down.

Speaker: 00:15:32

Think of the times when things have worked, you were having an argument

Speaker: 00:15:35

maybe and then you slowed down and something made more sense and the

Speaker: 00:15:42

conversation settled down a little bit.

Speaker: 00:15:45

I've actually written a book, ebook on grounding that's absolutely free for you.

Speaker: 00:15:49

It's available at artoflifecenter.com/grounding.

Speaker: 00:15:54

Grounding is an easy way to connect with yourself to be in the present

Speaker: 00:16:00

time, to breathe in the present time.

Speaker: 00:16:03

And it's not complicated.

Speaker: 00:16:04

All you do is imagine that you've got a connection with the earth and you breathe,

Speaker: 00:16:09

you let that connection, you let the earth release the stress and anxiety for you.

Speaker: 00:16:14

You let earth get you back into present moment.

Speaker: 00:16:18

You can do it anywhere.

Speaker: 00:16:19

You can do it while you are in a grocery store.

Speaker: 00:16:22

You can ground when you are in the middle of an argument, or when you remember

Speaker: 00:16:26

after the argument that, okay, now I'm not feeling too great, now I need to do that.

Speaker: 00:16:31

You can ground then, but I definitely encourage you to checking the book

Speaker: 00:16:34

out ArtofLifeCenter.com/grounding.

Speaker: 00:16:39

It's free for you to download, but it's a beautiful way of getting present

Speaker: 00:16:43

with yourself, of owning the space of being okay when it doesn't feel okay.

Speaker: 00:16:51

And when you ground or when you are in the present moment, that's when

Speaker: 00:16:55

a whole lot of the ideas come in.

Speaker: 00:16:57

Everything sort of makes sense.

Speaker: 00:16:59

It's like the universe.

Speaker: 00:17:01

has your back.

Speaker: 00:17:02

The universe always has your back.

Speaker: 00:17:05

But when you are not vibrating in that vibration, when you are not

Speaker: 00:17:10

grounded, it's not possible for the universe to help you as much because

Speaker: 00:17:16

it's not energetically aligned.

Speaker: 00:17:17

When you are settled, when you are grounded, then the universe can help you.

Speaker: 00:17:23

So you will often find that when you can take moments to ground,

Speaker: 00:17:28

when you can take moments to be present, then life slows down.

Speaker: 00:17:34

And as illogical as it might sound life slows down, but whatever you are doing,

Speaker: 00:17:43

that gets done a whole lot quicker.

Speaker: 00:17:45

Like in my example, the Excel sheet got done a whole lot quicker.

Speaker: 00:17:49

I was done with it in 15 minutes when I'd been trying to do that before.

Speaker: 00:17:53

You'd also find that when you can slow down people, you were supposed to call,

Speaker: 00:17:58

they'll automatically start calling you.

Speaker: 00:18:00

Like things will align.

Speaker: 00:18:02

You will feel, Oh, okay.

Speaker: 00:18:05

That's what being in the moment meant.

Speaker: 00:18:08

So when you are in the moment, then things magically start aligning for you.

Speaker: 00:18:15

When you are in the moment, when you are grounded, when you are

Speaker: 00:18:18

settled, the universe can reach you.

Speaker: 00:18:21

The universe can help you.

Speaker: 00:18:22

Things will automatically start flowing for you.

Speaker: 00:18:27

You will find that if you were supposed to make calls or go and meet someone,

Speaker: 00:18:33

coincidences will happen that you will see them, they will call you, you will bump

Speaker: 00:18:38

into them, you might be wanting to write an email, but the email will happen and

Speaker: 00:18:44

gives you all the information and so on.

Speaker: 00:18:46

Oftentimes, a whole lot of things will start happening.

Speaker: 00:18:50

Things will get a whole lot easier in the flow, like all the bumps that made

Speaker: 00:18:58

it wasteful that all decreases the more and more you are in your flow.

Speaker: 00:19:03

So the way to do that is to ground and One of the ways was to download the

Speaker: 00:19:09

grounding book, or whatever is for you.

Speaker: 00:19:12

If it's hiking, whatever gets you back to you, whatever connects to you, it's doing

Speaker: 00:19:18

all of those activities for yourself.

Speaker: 00:19:21

That could be as simple as taking a long shower, taking a hot bath, anything

Speaker: 00:19:28

that really connects you to you.

Speaker: 00:19:30

I urge you to have more of those times.

Speaker: 00:19:34

Okay.

Speaker: 00:19:35

So thank you so much for listening to this Art of life podcast.

Speaker: 00:19:39

I have a life makeover program that I'm going to launch in the new year.

Speaker: 00:19:44

This is all around art therapy meditation for reframing your

Speaker: 00:19:50

energy with literally anything.

Speaker: 00:19:53

Reframing your energy with time, with money, with relationships, healing your

Speaker: 00:19:57

past, manifesting every damn thing.

Speaker: 00:20:02

It's all packed into this beautiful art therapy meditation program.

Speaker: 00:20:05

It's called Life Makeover.

Speaker: 00:20:07

Artoflifecenter.com/art.

Speaker: 00:20:11

There is a wait list that is open now so I'm really excited for you to join that.

Speaker: 00:20:16

But till then, thank you for tuning in to the Art of Life podcast.

Speaker: 00:20:19

Please leave a review or share this with your friends.

Speaker: 00:20:23

I will see you next time, next week.