#21 Overcoming Self Sabotage - Art of Life Podcast

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Welcome to the Art of Life podcast.

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I'm Kanika.

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I'm a meditation teacher, and I use this podcast to talk about my own

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healing journey, really frankly.

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My idea is that I want to share what meditation did for me and just other

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concepts that I've learned along the way, share that as much as possible.

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Speak my own truth as much as possible.

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So that, first of all, I can vibrate in my own truth more.

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I can just own myself more.

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And second, inspire you in the process.

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Give you some tips, give you some perspectives perhaps to look at your life

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in a different manner and heal your life.

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Okay.

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Our topic today is self-sabotage.

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So we are talking, or rather we are breaking down self-sabotage.

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Why does that happen?

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What that means and strategies on how to deal with self-sabotage.

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So first let's just define self-sabotage.

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And at least for me, this hasn't been something really foreign.

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I don't even remember when I started, but there's so many things

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that I've gone like, Oh, I have this idea, but how can I do this?

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You know, even just a very simple thing as starting this podcast or starting my

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own meditation courses, even though I knew that I was really good, but just stepping

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into that zone and owning my own truth and going like this is what I want to do.

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That's a whole big journey.

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So, sabotage, self sabotage is where we will either partially dive in or not

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dive in to whatever we want, we just talk ourselves out of it because somehow

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we believe that we are not worth it.

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You know that affirmation you've probably heard it goes, I am enough,

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but it just does not resonate with us and we don't feel enough.

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We don't feel that our idea has enough value.

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We just don't feel worthy enough.

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We don't feel that we are that intelligent.

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Our story is that special, blah, blah, blah.

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And so we just don't try it or we don't try it fully.

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We don't give it a full shot at all.

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This could be with relationships.

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Maybe there's a fear of commitment.

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You find somebody special and you go, I'm not doing that.

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I'm not stepping into it because I might get hurt.

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There might be a job or something else, which is a really great

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opportunity and you just don't step into it because, you can't.

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Another obvious and very missed example is around clothing.

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Like notice how you dress.

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What colors are you wearing?

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Are you wearing neutrals to just blend in with everybody?

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Are you wearing colors that you would like?

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Are you wearing stuff that makes you feel good.

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Are you dressing for someone outside or are you dressing for yourself?

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Now I have a personal share here.

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So for a long time, I couldn't permit myself to wear heels and

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I did not even realize this.

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It took me a lot of healing.

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And then one day as I put my heels, I realized that oh my God, I was

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just subconsciously telling myself I couldn't wear heels because I'm a

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tall person and it would just make the person next to me not appear as tall.

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So there was just some programming, some unconscious programming

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that did not let me wear heels.

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Not even that those people said it, but maybe it was either in the air or it was

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just unconscious programming that came in.

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But there you go.

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There are all sorts of self sabotage.

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Sabotage where You are either conscious of it or unconscious of it.

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But you don't give yourself a full chance.

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You don't give yourself a chance to be seen.

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You don't give yourself a chance to be heard.

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And you don't value yourself fully.

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And look, this is an inside out process, right, so I've

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got to do that first for me.

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I've got to feel that I am great enough, I'm worthy enough before somebody else

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can do that for me, before the world can resonate in the same frequency, before the

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universe can bring all of that back to me.

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So look at the little things, look at the little stuff that you do for yourself,

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look at stuff that you buy for yourself.

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It doesn't have to be even the most expensive things, but think about

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the soap that you buy for yourself.

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Think about the food that you buy for yourself.

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Do you give yourself permission to actually have what you really want?

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It doesn't matter on the price tag.

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It's more like to give yourself permission to have what you would like.

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Do you give yourself permission to have rest?

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Do you give yourself permission to be, to feel your emotions, to be angry, or do you

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get cross with yourself for being angry?

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Do you get cross with yourself for feeling a certain way because

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society says you should feel.

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differently.

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And just those things, just notice that and they could probably be

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the smaller stepping stones to having an ultimate life of freedom.

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Now, generally, I leave you with a few strategies around dealing

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with concepts that we talk about.

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In this one, I thought I'd just share a personal story.

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So about a year ago, I gave myself a guilt free year.

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Now what that guilt free year meant was that I just gave myself a year

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to be free of guilt, a year to take decisions that I wanted to take, a

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year to be absolutely me and not feel bad, not feel ashamed, not feel sad

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about being crazy, but just taking the decisions that I wanted to take.

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So if I didn't want to go to a party, I would say no, if I

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didn't want to return a call.

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I wouldn't.

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There were friends, so called friends, that I let go during the

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beginning of that guilt free year.

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And I let them go because I just felt that they were not the most nourishing for me.

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In all honesty, the first few months really felt like, what is this?

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Am I really going crazy?

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But I'd given myself one year, I'd given myself one year to be guilt free.

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And I said, okay, in my life, I deserve at least one year of being by myself one

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year of being absolutely how I want to be.

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And with that, I cleared out a whole lot of beliefs, even fears that I was

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working with, like one of the fears, and God bless my parents, one of the fears

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that I had, or one of the beliefs that I had was around not being loved enough.

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So I looked at it around new Year's time in my meditation space and there

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was some past life regression that I was doing at the time as well.

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So in that a lot of past lives came up where I was orphaned or where

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I was left behind, a whole lot of that and God bless my parents.

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It's not that they don't love me, but every parent.

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will consciously or unconsciously program their child as well.

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And somehow I felt that with things that they did or they didn't

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do, they did not love me enough.

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So I got a whole lot of that out with them and spoke with them about it.

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The process was, yes, it was very painful, and apologies to my parents

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as well, but was also a good cleansing.

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program, because I cleaned out all that gritty stuff that I

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was holding and just carrying.

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And after we could work through it, the relationships are solidified.

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It was more truthful, it is more truthful, and I stepped more into my truth as well.

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And now if things don't work out for me.

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I would say I have actually made it almost like a habit.

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It's just very easy for me to go.

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Okay.

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This is not working.

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The relationship, the situation is not working.

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I don't need to be here.

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Now I share this story around a guilt free year very.

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understandingly, that you might not be able to do that, and that's okay, but

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give yourself a guilt free day if you can.

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Give yourself a smaller portion of this.

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Maybe you don't have to do a complete guilt free detox, but you could do, okay,

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I'm just going to start clearing out my relationships, or I'm going to clear

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out some of the time habits that I have.

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Whatever area you want to work in, make that your own and try that for yourself.

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I have to say that giving myself the guilt free year was one of the

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best things that I did for myself.

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I detoxed a lot, my energy changed, people around me noticed a lot of things

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I birthed as well during this time.

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Art of Life podcast being one for example, and the other one is the

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Life Makeover program as well.

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Which is, it's an art therapy meditation program, 10 hours self paced with a lot

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of lessons and coaching and healings with me as well, when you want them.

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But it's totally around shifting your life, transforming your life in every

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single sphere that you can imagine.

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The program, and I'm so proud of it because it is an amalgamation of so

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much that I've learned over the years.

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If you do the program, I can guarantee that you have all the tools to not

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be stuck in life, no matter what life throws at you, you just have

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everything to be able to be unstuck.

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So, with the Guilt Free Year, I birthed a lot of great relationships,

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I had people moving over into my city and around me, just the sort

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of connections that I wanted.

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It turned out to be the most fabulous year because I cleaned, I

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pruned, and I prepped the stage to have the new vibrations coming in.

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A lot came in with that guilty year.

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So I wish you the same thing.

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I wish that you can hold that space for yourself as well and start cleaning out.

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You know, as I record this episode, this is November, and we'll soon

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be setting into December, we'll be bringing in the New Year vibrations.

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It's a good time to start pruning, to start cleaning,

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to start preparing for 2024.

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Often when we get into December, it's a little bit late, but I urge you to

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use this, like that new energy where you can just start birthing new things.

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To get to that, you need to clean up right now.

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So clean up the stuff where you are self sabotaging, smallest of things

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and the biggest of things where you feel that you are not letting

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yourself being seen, valued or heard.

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Yeah.

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So today is a really, really short podcast, but thanks so much for tuning in.

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If you have liked this podcast, please do share, please do review

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it and follow me on Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/theartoflifecenter/

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I will see you around.

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Have a lovely day.